Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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