She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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