I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
