I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
