Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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