New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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