How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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