What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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