When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
