A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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