I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
