Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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