idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
