break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
