Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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