Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
