i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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