He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
