wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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