areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Me. At least after what I've been through.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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