So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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