Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fuck appropriateness.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
