super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
