everyone is single if you try hard enough
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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