i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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