it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
