Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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