I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
