he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it glows. i had to have it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
