What did we do last night that was yellow?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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