did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
