i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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