Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
