i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
