You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
