his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
bring money and cleavage
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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