i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
