I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
