I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
