WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
