It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
