You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
