He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
