and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
