My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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