I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
