Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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