Just cropdusted the office
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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