So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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