Dual....:-)
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
