I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
