i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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