ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
