I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
