so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
