Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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