tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
